i love both you and the german language way too much
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Sonntag, Dezember 17, 2006
for all the bad stuff that i experienced this semester, I'm feeling tremendously sad to be leaving. when mom dropped me off after bono's concert, we were walking around and i was complaining about how i'm wasting my time and not getting the most out of school and not being who and what i want to be and not feeling fulfilled, and we were saying it was all the fault of the myth/pressure to have "bright college days" (apparently a yale song, sung by fifty years of alumni during eva's graduation weekend)...and then a few minutes later when I took her into my room to see the christmas tree and I was giving her the whole story and showing her the ornaments, she got a little choked up and said something like, "you won't think this was bright college days?" and i realized that i would.
living with Geddes, continuing to be with ben, pulling thorugh badness, celebrating christmas early, getting to know brenna more, living in interfaith, asl, el 18 and ed, hugging will when he was sad, ballroom, even briefly doing rtv stuff, growing plants...this has been a good almost-four-months of my life.
tying together a few things: i may not have had so much happiness, but i've had great joy.
Even that I ended up wasting a class is not such a terrible loss...if i went to a school with a big core, I'd probably have felt that more were wasted. And it finally got me to write a fifteen-page paper, which, though it wasn't something I'll read over in a few years to bask in my own brilliance, at least pretty much ties up my ability to have graduated from staples high school.
that was supposed to be funny.
taking down our christmas tree was very sad. i hung the ornaments up on the windows.
i got a halloween card from cindy but i never check my mail so i didn't notice it until like a week ago. i miss cindy. if she's not in town over break i will have to go to boston next semester, though it would be kind of strange to go alone.
11:26 AM
Donnerstag, Dezember 14, 2006
commmiserating finals hug in the hallway at 2:45 in the morning goes a long way.
i think i am okay with how this semester happened. or that i will be okay with it in a day and a half when it's over.
2:44 AM
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